sally whelan | painter
i do it because i can't not do it
Before I was a painter, I was a makeup artist for TV + film. There was an actress that I looked after for the whole run of the show. She had noticed that I had been painting these little figures on wood in acrylic and at the end of the show, she gifted me a supply of paints. It was only afterwards that she realised they were oil paints (not acrylic). But I said “oh, it's fine. I'll give them a go”. I just started playing around. I refused to pick up a book on it or look a YouTube video. I wanted to learn completely on my own and just figure it out for myself.
That is how I started oil painting.
So, I'm entirely self-taught. And because I'm not professionally trained, I’m sometimes plagued by the idea that maybe I don't deserve to get ahead with this because I haven't gone through the traditional channels and that I simply just decided I could do it.
The scariest thing was to just be really honest with myself about the fact I am good at what I do. This is the skill that I’ve been given, and it is natural in me. And so, to embrace that is really scary - to actually own the power that you have in you and go to that more grandiose + unapologetic place with it. It’s an acceptance that there are loads of things that I'm not good at - but painting is not one of them.
In my work, there is lots of procrastinating, crying, swearing and “omg what the fuck is going on!” moments. It is confronting because it’s your own stuff, like the whole time. But you learn to exist with it. You learn to be happy around it, sad around it, passionate around it, you eat dinner next to it, be on the phone to your mum next to it or shag next to it.
I'm aware the work I do isn't an easy subject matter. I've had people say, “you know, if you ever do landscapes, just let me know…..”. But that’s never going to happen. I just can't make it fly with me. The more I try and fight the stuff that wants to come out, the more it just builds. So, for me, there’s no question about doing it. It a calling. It’s not something I fancy doing or something that I picked. I feel physically ill if I'm not creating stuff. It’s like there is a part of me that isn't being listened to.
I do it because I can’t not do it.
words by sally whelan | @painter.sally + @the_goddess_sittings | http://paintersally.com
edited + curated by cassie douglas
