the hermit
When we think of a hermit archetypically, we usually imagine a cave dweller living alone, isolated from society and people. Words like “loner” and “recluse” can come to mind. In ancient stories, hermits were seen as guides - imparting wisdom & direction to travellers in need.
The Hermit is the part of us that requires to be alone. Every now and then we all need “drop out to drop in”. Just as humans are wired for connection, it is equally as important to have time alone. In our quietude lies an innate wisdom that can convey solutions to the parts of us that are overwhelmed and confused.
Unlike other archetypes that are expansive and extraverted, the Hermit is about going in …and man do they go in deep! Time in the cave resembles a certain kind of ‘death’ for the hermit as they are stripped of their distractions.
The busy world we live in makes it tricky for us to simply drop out, so engaging with our inner Hermit takes an element of proactivity on our behalf. Unless we literally chuck our phones in the creek or go walkabout, we can easily be lured back into the world with its many tempting hooks.
Time out has the ability to connect us to our wisdom and separate us from the ego. It is an honouring of the self, a chance to rejuvenate the soul and release the unnecessary from our lives. Time alone can be an antidote to co-dependency and enables healthy disengagement from materialism.
So what happens in the Cave?
A Hermit’s “cave” is any place they can have control over their surroundings, enabling them the security to truly be themselves without influence or intrusion. The cave allows for reprieve, retreat and rest that ultimately result in a kind of rebirth or transcendence. In the cave, the Hermit is unwitnessed and unjudged (and undocumented on Instagram).
In their need for rejuvenation and nourishment – the hermit hibernates. The cave is their solitude, interior, winter, cocoon and death. Here they sit unaccompanied and devoid of distraction, ready to cultivate a new energy.
A Hermit's creativity is magnificently unearthed within the cave. Inspiration & space allow for art to flow so bring your pen, paints and your guitar…. and make some magic.
This is a time to process and reflect on family life, relationships and direction. It can be a time to give gratitude and let go.
The cave is the "death and breath" that is necessary before we re-emerge into the world again - feeling fuller, lighter and stronger....
Storm Boy... The Ultimate Hermit Film
Anyone remember the 1976 film Storm Boy? It was made two years before I was born however I’m ashamed to admit that I just watched it this week. Brilliant flick!
In Storm Boy lie some great Hermit examples.
Mike, a young boy, lives with his father Tom in an old shack on an isolated South Australian beach. Instead of attending school like other kids his age, Mike spends his days exploring and playing on the wild coastline. He has pet pelicans (enter Mr Percival) and soon meets “Fingerbone Bill”, an indigenous man who lives nearby on the reserve….
Mike’s dad Tom is the classic Hermit archetype. He is a wise and recluse man of few words living self sufficiently. Tom’s hermit operates in its shadow in the sense that he (quite openly) avoids the rest of the world in order to avoid his past. Tom’s shadow teaches us that we can run to the ends of the earth to escape a problem, however this is the surest way to know that we will bring it with us. In this case he is dragging his son along for the ride too.
Mike too has the Hermit archetype. He lives on the land, helping his father and is adventurous and curious. He has a conflicting desire to live wild and free on the land, as well as go to school where he can make friends and get an education. In Mike’s character we learn that we need a balance of both human connection as well as time solo.
And then there is Fingerbone Bill, who has been outcast by tribal lore from his own community and now is living alone on the reserve. He too is running from his past however, his solitude is broken when he cultivates a relationship with Mike. Not only does he become a friend and confidante to Mike, but a healthy male role model too. Fingerbone Bill shows us that although we cannot change our pasts - we can accept them, learn from them and shift our perspective in order to not repeat that which no longer serves us.
The Hermit’s Shadow
The Shadow Hermit runs from what they refuse to face. People lived in caves thousands of years ago – for the very reason that a cave was “safe”. It was hidden, impenetrable and was no thoroughfare for random drop ins.
The emotional cave is no different.
One of the most important questions a Hermit must ask is: does my cave sustain the rejuvenation of my life OR my resistance to life?
The Hermit can sabotage relationships in favour of isolation. Lets face it, life is mostly easier when we only have to look after ourselves. It can be tempting to retreat into the cave where we have full control and predictability. The Hermit would benefit greatly from remembering that as gruelling as they can sometimes be, it is in relationship that we grow, evolve and connect.
An aspect that also challenges the Hermit is martyrdom. They can come up with myriad reasons why they simply cannot take time out. Too busy, too tired, not interested. When a Hermit cannot or does not access their cave, it is a breeding ground for frustration, anxiety and overwhelm.
Take note! Verbalising our needs can actually have the potential to bring stuff to the surface for the people around us. It can trigger feelings of separation, abandonment and rejection so it is important to kindly & authentically communicate with those around you if necessary…while at the same time staying with your truth.
When we fail to acknowledge and honour the part of us that needs reprieve, it starts coming through the cracks in other unconscious ways. We can feel maxed out by the world…. angry, anxious and even depressed. We are pulled out of our centre: uncomfortable in our own house, our own skin and in our own thoughts.
Another consideration is that the four walls of our caves can indeed become a little too comfy. You may revel in the solitude, particularly if your life is full throttle however the magic of the cave lies in its impermanence. Hermits have to find a healthy balance between their internal and external worlds.
Confusing Solitude with Loneliness
I’ve travelled solo to many corners of the world for about twenty years now and have been asked repeatedly: Why do I travel alone? Don’t I want to share my experiences with my loved ones? Do I worry about my safety? Am I lonely? Where is my husband?
The truth is I wholeheartedly, hands-down LOVE travelling alone. My age, relationship status and the fact that I have a family do not change this desire. Travelling solo sets me free, it ignites my independence, challenges & inspires me and best of all - keeps me present. The special moments I experience along the way are by no means any less magnificent because I experienced them alone.
So what is the difference between solitude and loneliness?
In solitude we are able to unearth and grow, step into our truth and can find a space where our vulnerability and independence make love. Don’t get me wrong, its not always a peaceful process. It can be intense, painful and raw when our shit bubbles to the surface. But when we are able to sit with ourselves and allow ourselves to make a kind of peace, we have a chance to not be held hostage by our pasts and pains. In this space we are set free.
Loneliness is when we experience disconnection. And even though this disconnection can too be a physical one, it is the emotional disconnection that grapples our heart, making it an undesirable place to be.
Loneliness does NOT equate to being alone.
It hunts us down in the depths of our crappy marriages, in the throes of raising children without support, in the careers that we hate, our toxic relationships and in our stifled creativity. Loneliness is a disconnection from the self.
So how do we honour our Hermit?
It’s about taking time for you – whenever you need to, regardless of what you believe you ‘should’ be doing. There is a belief that something is wrong with us when we detach from this fast paced world – but I call bullshit. Running our little asses off like mice on a wheel is not healthy or fun. Be the mouse that jumps off, flips the bird to the wheel and runs off doing cartwheels down the beach. Fuck the wheel.
Honouring our inner Hermit is about recognising that we need to eliminate our worldly distractions every once and a while. This practice is not just for the gurus, sadhus & nomads – it’s for all of us.
Art therapy is a beautiful and supportive way to identify how your inner Hermit plays out in your life and if needed, bring balance into this area.
So lean into your Hermit - whatever that means for you. Take a walk on a deserted beach, climb a mountain, turn your phone off or delete yourself from Facebook. Most importantly, try to spend time in nature....
No selfies, no hashtags, no one else.
Just you.
I dare you.
JOURNAL ENQUIRY
Is the Hermit archetype strong in your personality? Now? As a child?
In what ways do you withdraw and find reprieve?
Is it difficult for you to take time for yourself? Why?
When you spend time alone do you experience rejuvenation and inner wisdom or do you experience anxiety or irritability?
Do you prefer your own company more than with others?
What distracts you from feeling centred and connected?
Do you spend time alone in nature?
What beliefs do you have around loneliness?
What beliefs do you have around solitude?
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